Scam Some Ham, Or My Attempt To Double-Up On Thanksgiving

by Chuck Ring (GadAbout-BlogAlot ©2008)

Quote Freely From the Article — Leave The Pseudonym Alone

After having a great meal with my friend Jim Smith at Katrinah’s East Mountain Grill (KEMG) on this date, Jim and I were privileged to have Katrinah’s grandmom (Kathy Shuit,co-owner of KEMG) grace our table. Jim’s satiated eyes were glazed over due to the effects of the giant chicken-fried steak he had just experienced; but I of the grand abdomen, had given my stomach a reprieve having recently experienced fusion of L-4/L-5 and needing less strain on the back, I had taken the ignoble, but sensible path to satisfaction … I quit eating.

But, I did not quit listening. I heard that Kathy would close the grill on November 25 (tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day) and that she would be open for approximately sixty family members and friends. Knowing that my lovely Carol would not open the Ring Kitchen until Thursday at around 3:00 PM, I was quite sure that I was friend enough to throw myself on Kathy’s mercy.

After complimenting Kathy on the great genetics her Katrinah had managed to have passed on to her and slathering on every manner of compliment for all things KEMG, I leaned in for the kill. “Dear Lady, said I, I count myself as one of your true and trusted friends after having known you since we went to different high schools together. Would it be possible, do you think, to become one who not only enjoys your kitchen fare, but also one who is more than willing to assay the culinary delights of your establishment while attending your Thanksgiving Day Extravaganza?”

As Ms. Schuit drew back, I recognized that something, perhaps everything, of what I had just muttered had not clicked with the lady. An eyeful and artful appraisal of my stomach and wide mouth clinched her denial of my request without her having to say a single word.  A fifty-five gallon drum and the gaping maw of a bottomless pit is what Ms. Schuit must have recognized. So as not to be embarrassed, I quickly withdrew my request and muttered some ignorant excuse in preparation of departing the premises.  My shirttail did not hit my rear until I was past the inquiring minds and eyes of my fellow customers and safely hidden in my personal red transport.

Now those who know Ms. Schuit will recognize that this story is true by a factor of nada, zilch and zero. Kathy is a gracious lady who will enjoy a Thanksgiving Day with family and friends because that is the kind of person she is and the kind of people they are.  Oops, the part about the food consumed by Jim and me is more than true. Grreat!

Have a great Thanksgiving Day, everyone!

One Response “Scam Some Ham, Or My Attempt To Double-Up On Thanksgiving”

  1. Bob Steiner says:

    Mr. Ring,
    You are soooo correct!

    What an establishment!

    What a Lady!!!

Let us talk about
Name and Mail are required
Join the discuss

I'm not a robot (enter numbers) *